Compelled by calamity's magnet
Entrepreneur, accomplished writer, bearded love guru, compulsive liar.

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I accidentally left my bathroom window open all night with the light on. Right infront of the door is this fucking bat-like, mothman abomination and now I have to move house or call a real man to kill it for me.
leninistvaporwave:

remember when fox news put egypt next to iran 
armin-swaglert:

SOMEONE FUCKING MADE A SAND SCULPTURE OF THE CREEPY HAPPY MEAL

woodlandfairys:

I am thinking it’s a sign that the freckles
In our eyes are mirror images and when
We kiss they’re perfectly aligned

(via solonelycubone)

death-by-lulz:

"It’s like you’re my mirror / My mirror staring back at me"

thecutestofthecute:

Breeder Amy Green laughs as her 3-year-old Samoyed, Bogey, who sleeps with his tongue out during grooming.

excuse me, but… that’s a fucking bear

asammyg:

How fucked up is the entire concept of The Parent Trap? These parents have twins but want a divorce so they decide their best course of action is to just each take one and never speak to each other again. 

(via amelioooo)

lordsmaf:

This confuses me on so many levels


Great slavery analogy